     voigtkampff | Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 06:51 pm 
Isn't bankruptcy analagous to divorce? An embarrassing painful end to a financial or personal relationship.
Yet almost none of my bankruptcy clients have ever filed before. I have to assume that they learned their lesson. Stuck their hand in the fire once, and decided that they didn't like it. Didn't do it again.
So why would people who filed divorce be more likely to be serial divorcees and file again. No lesson learned? Impossible.
Then why is it that people will make the same mistake over and over and never ever learn. We've all shaken our heads in frustration when a friend is dating not only someone who is bad. But exactly the same TYPE of bad person as the last ten. And not only are our friends blind. But they are also deaf. They do not listen to the warnings from friends. They respond with: "He (or she) is different. You'll see. Just wait till they get out of jail."
I joke not. A good number of my female clients had ex-boyfriends in jail. One of my paralegals had a present boyfriend in jail. So many of my clients (usually female again) filed bankruptcy as a result of huge debts incurred in buying gifts for boyfriends. "Thanks!!!! Seeya."
I have female friends who can walk into a dark room of men with bags over their heads, and without conversating, they will instinctively find the only one who is younger. And unemployed. And abusive. It's actually sort of amazing.
I was dismayed to have a friend point out to me that I follow a pattern as well. Not as destructive, but still amoeba-like in its simplicity. And I never saw it.
I think that we all have some pattern, that we may not see. And that even if we have the capacity to learn, we may not have the capacity to change certain things. Like that pattern. Maybe some people are destined for divorce. Over and over. And when they reaize it, and accept that it will not last. Maybe they should just settle down in sin with someone half their age, that they can show off in public. Maybe these people are not stupid. Maybe they just know themselves. |
| Christine Baker | Thursday, January 13, 2000 - 07:15 pm
Thank God for the Dating section! It's really nice to get a laugh a couple of times a day.
Although you're right. I think most human brains have some serious defects (not mine of course, haha) People act illogical and irrational.
Something just made me think of lobotomies. Heard an NPR program last year on women who've had lobotomies, back then when they still did those routinely.
In follow-up interviews the majority of husbands were happy with their new wives. They rated their marriage as improved.
Just thought I'd share that. |
| rcb | Thursday, January 20, 2000 - 06:10 am
Most think with their heads when talking about finances and bankruptcy. OTOH, most people think with their hearts (or other sections of their anatomy) when they make the decision to get married.
And new girlfriends are much more lenient on divorced men versus new creditors' leniency on people with bankruptcy in their past ... :) |
