     Morgan Appel (Downinsocal) | Friday, April 21, 2000 - 08:05 am 
Hiya Christine and everyone else!
Always happy to provide some levity. I think perhaps it is high time to create a typology of debt collectors. My financial mismanagement aside, I've run into the following...perhaps you have too. I hope that all will add to this list so that no one will be fooled again:
(1)The "personal friend." Always uses his/her first name, and is sugary like syrup. Had one call me (and, knowing what this was, said I wasn't around), saying that she was so much looking forward to hearing from me, etc. "Oh, gosh, that happened to me, too."
(2) The "Mom"--scolds you for acquiring so much debt and questions your morals for not paying on time. "Well, if you had been a better worker they wouldn't have cut your hours!" Chastizes you because "you never call...I don't have your new number."
(3) "Melvin Beli" Amateur lawyer. Likes to use terms like 'client' 'review the file.' Has a thing for Judge Judy. Unfortunately, doesn't understand FTC laws or 'Cease and Desist.'
(4) "Mister Mister" Never uses his first name, but sure loves to use yours. Maybe he doesn't have a first name.
(5) "New Kid on the Block" -- Uses the manual but is not great on the fly. The supervisor's nightmare, but the debtors plaything. "Oh, really...so I could go to jail for not paying my late fees at Blockbuster? Could I tape this?"
(6) "The Guilt Trip" Like the Mom, but with a twist..."This is the second time I've called, this is really for your benefit...I'm just trying to help!"
(7) "The Accent"--calls from the Bronx or the Deep South. Need a translator to understand. Note--be careful if they are calling from a waste management company.
(8) "The Quickie"--knows there is no way in God's green earth you will call back, but must leave a message. "HellothisisMaryatWWWNB180055512121extension324itisveryimportantyoucallback." Watch for sonic booms.
(9) "The Liar"--Always says this is your last opportunity to settle up, the last time they will call, etc. Inevitably calls the next week to settle.
(10) "The Game Show Host"--always has a "special offer" for you. "Don Pardo, tell him what he's won!"
More later! |
